Privacy policy
Last updated 29 October 2026
Hard Yes is an app for couples. What you share in it is some of the most personal information there is: what you want, what you don't, your sex life and your relationship. This policy explains, in plain words, what we collect, who can see it, where it's kept and the choices you have.
Hard Yes is run by Hard Yes Limited, a New Zealand company. In this policy, "we" and "us" means Hard Yes Limited. If you have any question about your privacy, email [email protected].
The short version
- Your partner only ever sees what you've both said yes to. Your noes, maybes, hard limits and one-sided yeses are never shown to him or anyone else. Our servers work out the matches, so your raw answers never reach his phone.
- Your couple chat and photos are end-to-end encrypted. Only the two of you can read them. We can't.
- We don't sell your data, show ads, use advertising trackers, or use what you share to train AI.
- Nobody can find you. There are no public profiles and no way for strangers to search for you. Guests only join with an invite from you both.
- Notifications are discreet. Nothing sexual ever shows on your lock screen.
- You're in control. Change your answers, pause anything, or delete your account from inside the app at any time.
What we collect
Your account. Your first name, the email address or sign-in method you use (an email code, or later Sign in with Apple, Google or a phone number), and your confirmation that you're 18 or over. We never show your email or phone number to your partner or guests.
Your private answers. Your swipes (Hard Yes, maybe or pass), your answers on The List, your heat level, hard limits, interests, food and diet preferences, ground rules, check-in answers, reactions to fantasies, your mood and your journal. These are private to you.
What you share with your partner. Your matches, the plans you make together (date nights, getaways, clues, itineraries, passport stamps, keepsakes and postcards), your couple chat, notes, sealed fantasies you choose to send, and your progress with your coach.
Private photos. Photos you send in the couple chat are encrypted on your phone before they leave it, so only you and your partner can open them. "View once" photos are deleted after he's seen them, and unsending a photo deletes it for both of you.
Getaways and time off. The days you could take off work are private. Your partner only sees the days you're both free. For a surprise trip, the destination, bookings and itinerary stay with the planner until you arrive.
Location, only if you switch it on. For a getaway, you can let the app know when you leave home and arrive at your stay. It only records "left" or "arrived", never your route, and it switches off when you're home. The "getting warmer" distance is worked out on your own phone. If you leave a note at a place for your partner, we store that place so the note can open when he gets there.
Open relationships (the Guest List), only if you both turn it on. A guest's first name, his answers, and the chat between him and the two of you. Guest chats are text only. If you use solo play, your opt-ins and rules are private: your partner only sees the rules you agree on and any differences to talk about. Safety check-ins like "I'm safe" and "I'm home", and anything you choose to tell him afterwards, are shared with your partner. The app never helps you find or meet anyone. Please don't write identifying details about other people.
Sexual health. If you choose to add the date of your last sexual health check, it's shared with your partner, and we use it to remind you when the next one is due.
Senses nights. Whoever sets up the night keeps their checklist private. Afterwards, your partner only sees which senses you loved. Anything you didn't enjoy stays private.
Payments. Apple or Google handle payment. We only learn whether Premium is active for your couple, never your card details.
App and device information. A notification token so we can send you notifications, basic information about your device and app version, and crash reports so we can fix problems. We don't use advertising or tracking tools.
Who can see what
| Information | Who can see it |
|---|---|
| Your swipes, List answers, hard limits, noes and maybes | Only you |
| Your journal, time-off days, dream places, solo-play answers | Only you. Your partner sees only what overlaps or matches. |
| Matches, plans, coach progress, rewards | You and your partner |
| Couple chat and private photos | You and your partner, end-to-end encrypted |
| A surprise date or getaway | The planner, until the reveal |
| A guest's chat and matches with you | That guest and the two of you |
| Check-in and morning-after answers | The person who answered. Others see only a summary. |
Us. A very small team can access account data only when it's needed to run the service, keep it safe, respond to a report or meet a legal obligation. We can't read your end-to-end encrypted chat or photos.
How we use it
- To run Hard Yes: work out your matches on our servers, suggest cards, dates and getaways that suit you both, and keep your coach and progress in step.
- To sign you in and keep your account secure.
- To send notifications and reminders you've asked for, always worded discreetly.
- To keep people safe: deal with reports, remove guests, and enforce our rules.
- To fix bugs and improve the app, using crash reports and basic usage information.
- To meet legal requirements.
We don't sell your information, use it for advertising, or share it with anyone for their own marketing. We don't use your answers, chats or photos to train artificial intelligence.
Who helps us run Hard Yes
We use a few trusted providers. Each one only gets what it needs for its job, and is bound to protect it:
- Supabase hosts our database in Sydney, Australia. This is where your account and app data is stored.
- Resend sends your sign-in codes by email. It sees your email address and the code. Emails are sent from its servers in Japan.
- Cloudflare hosts this website and forwards emails sent to us.
- Apple and Google provide app downloads, sign-in options, notifications and payments.
- A subscription service (such as RevenueCat) checks whether Premium is active. It never sees your answers or chats.
- A flight-status service, only if you add a flight to a getaway. It receives the flight number and date, nothing about you.
Some of these providers store or process information outside New Zealand. We only use providers that protect information in ways comparable to New Zealand's Privacy Act 2020. We'll update this list if we add or change a provider.
We'll only share your information with anyone else if the law requires it, if it's needed to prevent a serious threat to someone's life or safety, or if you ask us to.
Keeping it safe
- Everything is encrypted when it travels between your phone and our servers, and when it's stored.
- Privacy rules are enforced by the database itself, not just hidden in the app, and we test every rule automatically.
- Your couple chat and photos are end-to-end encrypted.
- You can lock the app with Face ID or a passcode, use discreet mode, and quickly hide the screen.
No system is perfectly secure. If a privacy breach happens that's likely to cause serious harm, we'll tell you and the Office of the Privacy Commissioner as soon as we can.
How long we keep it
- We keep your information while your account is open.
- If you end things with your partner in the app, your shared things (your chat, story, dates, check-ins, notes, matches, replies to fantasies and any guests) are deleted for both of you. What's yours stays with you: your list, hard limits, swipes, journal, sealed fantasies and settings.
- If a guest is removed, his chat and his matches with you are deleted.
- If you delete your account, we delete your information straight away from the app, and from our backups within 30 days.
- Cancelling Premium never deletes anything.
Your rights
Under New Zealand's Privacy Act 2020, you can ask for a copy of the personal information we hold about you, and ask us to correct it. Email [email protected] and we'll respond within 20 working days. You can also change most things yourself in Settings, and delete your account at any time.
If you're not happy with how we've handled your information, please tell us first so we can put it right. You can also complain to the Office of the Privacy Commissioner.
18+ only
Hard Yes is only for adults aged 18 and over. We don't knowingly collect information from anyone younger. If we learn that someone under 18 is using it, we'll delete their account.
Changes to this policy
If we change this policy in an important way, we'll tell you in the app before the change applies. The date at the top shows when it was last updated.
Contact
Hard Yes Limited, New Zealand
Email [email protected]